she's frowning. a little pink notebook (with thousands of words penned down on days and nights when her muse would come) lies open by her feet. lying face up amongst a collection of stuffed animals, clutching one large brown bear to her chest, the girl closed her eyes. maybe it was a bad idea. was it her own fault, though? how could she have known a boy hundreds of miles away would have this effect on her? (&why didntshe fightharder) i m p o s s i b l e. who would expect that after five years of being connected only through the web, the majority of their time together would be spent simply looking at each other in silence ? as if perhaps he adored her, as if perhaps she couldnt believe that he was real. if she memorized his features maybe she could see him even when she closed her eyes. if he held her hand long enough, maybe she wouldnt ever have to go. she could control her from emotions behind her computer screen -- hitting the backspace button, not sending some mails, reading over text before hitting enter. she could admit she loved him in the most casual of manners, then move on to something else. downplay the heart in her words. insist on wanting her life of fraternity boys and emotionless touches again. but there was no denying, no hiding now. she was loved, and in love. r e m e m b e r when she didnt want it? when she begged him to stop whatever he was doing that was making her fall for him ? c o u l d h e see that she was so scared of this she was trembling when she spoke? now they say she looks radiant and sounds genuinely happy. now they say he's less shy & says the right words. when was she sure she had really fallen? somewhere between the hugs and laughs and kisses and smiles, the long (& short) car rides with good music and hands clasped together, the nights of clear skies lit up with fireworks and constellations she felt him catch her. maybe (just maybe) it was the best idea they had ever had. hundreds of miles would not keep them apart. (&love would be theirhope) the girl laughed at herself quietly, feeling dreams creep closer & closer. the image of his face came to her mind and she let herself be taken by sleep. she's smiling.