<-

 

        *

 

      

Let me light up the sky,
light it up for you.
 

    she's frowning.
 
  a little pink notebook  (with thousands of words penned
  down on days and nights when her muse would come)  lies
  open by her feet.
 
  lying face up amongst a collection of stuffed animals,
  clutching one large brown bear to her chest, the girl
  closed  her eyes.
 
 
 
                  maybe it was a bad idea. was it her own
          fault, though?   how could she have known a boy
          hundreds  of  miles away would have this effect
          on her?             (&why didntshe fightharder)
 
       i m p o s s i b l e.
 
    who would expect that after five years of being
   connected only through the web,  the majority of
   their  time  together  would   be  spent  simply
   looking at each other in silence ? as if perhaps
   he adored her, as if perhaps she couldnt believe
   that he was real.  if she memorized his features
   maybe she could see him even when she closed her
   eyes. if he held her hand long enough, maybe she
   wouldnt ever have to go.
 
               she could control her from emotions behind
           her computer screen  --  hitting the backspace
           button,  not sending some mails,  reading over
           text before hitting enter. she could admit she
           loved him in the most casual of manners,  then
           move on to something else.  downplay the heart
           in her words.  insist on wanting  her life  of
           fraternity boys and emotionless touches again.
           but there was no denying,  no hiding now.  she
           was loved, and in love.
 
        r e m e m b e r     when she didnt want it?
        when she begged him to stop whatever he was
        doing that was making her  fall  for  him ?
        c o u l d   h e     see  that  she  was  so
        scared of this she was  trembling  when she
        spoke?
                  now they say she looks radiant and
                sounds genuinely happy. now they say
                he's less shy & says the right words.
 
 
            when was she sure  she had really fallen?
 
            somewhere between the hugs and laughs and
            kisses and smiles, the long (& short) car
            rides with good music  and  hands clasped
            together,  the nights  of clear skies lit
            up  with   fireworks  and  constellations
 
                              she felt him catch her.
 
 
          maybe  (just maybe)   it was the best idea they
          had ever had.  hundreds of miles would not keep
          them apart. (&love would be theirhope)
 
 
 
  the girl laughed  at herself quietly,  feeling dreams
  creep  closer & closer. the image of his face came to
  her mind and she let herself be taken by sleep.
 
    she's smiling.